


The Unexpected

by Captain_Poland



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Romanian Actor RPF, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chris Evans is a good bro, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Sebastian Stan, Im not sure where this owuld end, Male Friendship, Oral Sex, Sad Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sebastian Stan Angst, Sebastian Stan as a dad, Sebastian is a bit of a dick, Sex, Smut, So is Mackie, Unrequited Love, You Insert, a bit of, a reader but really an OC, and scared, but an OC, but he is lost, or - Freeform, or not haven't decided yet, so we still love him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-07-09 08:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19884886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Poland/pseuds/Captain_Poland
Summary: You and Sebastian Stan have been friends with benefits for over two years now. Until you get pregnant with his child and everything goes shit.A story where not everything is nice and beautiful. Where you are not ready to be a mom and Sebastian struggles to make a decision on where he stands.A story where just because you love someone doesn't mean he will love you back.Or maybe...A lot of Angst!





	1. The test

“Jesus!” He growled and fall next to you on the bed, breathing as a man possessed. Well more like a man who just had his orgasm, realising his cum inside of you after about an hour of passionate foreplay and well-deserved sex. “You will be the death of me” he chuckled, trying to come down from his high. You smirked and turned towards him, leaning on your head.

God. How many times have you wondered about your luck? Having this beautiful man at your every sexual need was a dream come true for so many women, and yet though we’re the one who was the lucky girl. There you were three years after meeting him in the club, laying in his bed, naked, and satisfied after three orgasms.

You’d think you could not be lucky, right? Oh, that would be just too easy, right? There you were in a 'friends with benefits' with the most amazing man on earth. A man you had feelings for. A man who felt nothing for you. You were just his sex friend. You even had a ritual. Of course, for all those years you have become close friends. But there was never anything romantic between the two of you. Just casual sex that was there to relax both of you.

“Excuse me, but it was you who gave me three orgasms. I only gave you one”, you answered, kissing his toned chest, when he pulled you for the after-side hug. You loved the man who felt nothing for you, which resulted in you becoming a prisoner of your own feelings. Those hours of passionate sex were the most intimate moments you could ask of him, so as pathetic as it sounded, you did not want to let them go. So, you continued this friendship, despite the empty feeling in your heart whenever this was over. He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his. And this would never happen.

You tighten your thighs hearing this wonderful low chuckle. His after-sex voice, like heavens. Husky, low and sp, so too much for you to handle. So, driven with your primitive carnal desires your kisses started to get wetter and travelling down from his chest to his abdomen and then to his muscular v-line which you loved so much, especially when it wasn’t covered in any of the underwear.

You smirked, hearing his rapid breath intake. You rose to your knees and sat between his legs, to make your movements more comfortable. With every movement of your tongue was giving him another shock of pressure.

You were far from Saint and shy when it came to those things. Especially towards the guy with whom you had done it for the past three years. You enjoyed making your man feel the pressure from your actions. It made you almost lose control when you were able to hear him growl and moan under you. It had nothing to do with domestic or possessiveness. You just took pleasure from your partner’s joy. Especially if this man was Sebastian fucking Stan.

You used one of your hand to steady yourself on one of the sides of his hips and used the other one to trail up from his thigh to the place that only minutes ago gave you an amazing orgasm. Slowly you used your fingers to move up, ignoring this one place, going around it, making a road for your mouth, which was more than happy to follow what your hand did.

“Oh fuck!” he moaned when once again almost touched his now (impressively) half harden cock. This was another thing you loved about him. His stamina was amazing. Of course, he couldn’t stand a whole night, but two-three times was something he was capable of from time to time. And tonight, was your lucky night. You smirked and looked up when you heard your name leaving his lips. “Don’t be a tease, baby girl!” he hummed looking down at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. The baby blue was gone, and the darkness took over.

You looked up at him innocently and putting your tongue out you traced it down, just above his now almost hard penis. Your hand, on the other hand, travelled down to his balls, giving them a slight squeeze. Bringing a delightful whimper from him. “Sweetheart, please!” you smiled mischievously hearing him beg. Oh, this was definitely one of the best sounds you’ve heard your entire life.so you squeezed your hand a bit more and licked the precum from the tip of his cock, bringing a shiver from him.

“How do you want me, Sebastian?” you were hoovering over his manhood, with your hand still o. His balls, not stopping the little play. He opened his eyes, you just noticed he closed and looked at you, already completely were off.

“Fuck!” he ran his hand through his hair, chuckling lowly, making you clench your thighs more, which did not go unnoticed by him. “I want to cum in your mouth, kitten” he sat up and took you for a passionate kiss, making you moan into his mouth. “But I want to taste you as well”.

“Seb, I’m not sure I have in me to go the fourth time”, he laughed, and as not listening to you he started to kiss your jaw and then nipping lightly on your neck. There was a rule between the two of you. No symbols left. You whimpered when his warm lips encircled your breast and nipples. “Sebastian, god!” he smirked at your reaction, knowing well enough how sensitive you were here. Especially for the past few weeks. He never questioned it, enjoying the effect it had on you.

“Sit on my face baby” he mumbled between one of your breasts to other. You pulled away and looked him straight in his pretty eyes, that you adored so much. You pecked him on the lips before turning around, granting his wish, meeting this bravely standing soldier (yes, it was intended). Before you were able to make your move his skilful tongue attacked your clit, making you moan almost pornographically. Not waiting longer your hand moved back to his balls and you locked his shaft from bottom to up, enjoying every movement. He squirted when your oil him to your mouth, automatically going down to the base, and slowly going back up.

“F... fuck!” he hissed, sending warm air into your clit, bringing another part of shivers and moans.

“Sebastian, baby I will not last long” he hummed appreciatively, letting you know at the same time that he was in a similar position as you. You decided to pick up the spread and bob your head as fast as you could knowing how he loved that. It wasn’t long before you both came at the same time. You swallowed him fully. Before you were able to fall down on your face from the exhaustion, he caught you in his arms and turned you back around and hugged you to him, connecting your lips together, which led to both of you tasting each other.

“You are the fucking best!” he whispered into the top of your head. “Damn baby, you are amazing” you smiled, humming happily for his approving words.

“You’re not too bad yourself, hon... Four orgasms? I’m sorry but I’m not sure if I can get up and leave home now...” you joked, but deep down inside you hoped you wouldn’t have to leave. As pathetic as it was you wanted to feel the warmth of his body.

“Stay. The bed is big enough.” He answered. He never kicked you out. Most of the times you were the one who decided to leave, not to catch any feelings. Well now it was too late for that, so you could just stay and use the situation to your advantage. “Come on, let’s go take a shower and we can go to sleep.” You nodded and followed him behind, exhausted but also happy.

**

'I’m sorry. Needed to run for the audition.’

It was all that was waiting for you I’m the morning with Sebastian away and a cold side of the bed. Mornings were always the worst. You always woke up feeling like pathetic trash. You always just took a shower and left cleaning up a bit, knowing that he would be too tired to do this when he's back. Damn... You were so sad that you were acting like his girlfriend, not even being one.

You sighed and took your phone out frowning when a notification came out on your phone from one of the apps, asking about your period as it has been late for two weeks now. You felt your heart beat faster in a mere bought of that... It could not be possible. True you weren’t using condoms because you were on your pills, so for the better stimulation, you both decided to not use it. But that decision has been made almost a year ago, and the pills were always enough.

This time you didn’t take a shower, didn’t clean up. You just put your clothes on, packed your stuff and left home, stopping at the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. Two, to make sure. Your autopilot took you to the bathroom and you were just standing in front of the mirror praying to a god you didn’t even believe in, to not be pregnant. You didn’t know what you’d do. You were turning 27 soon and being a mother was never in your plans. You have a good steady job you like at the Caffe book shop, as an executive manager. Having a baby would be a terrible thing.

Not to mention Sebastian’s reaction. He would be furious! What if he would ask you to get rid of it? You were never against abortion but you didn’t want to do not yourself. What if he decided it’s not his problem and he just leaves you alone... Even if you knew that he was a good man that would never do something like that, you were still terrified to think of him hating you...

After three minutes you looked at the two tests and felt like sitting down. Positive. Both of them. Before you realised, tears started to fall down your cheeks and you begin shaking. This was not happening. You didn’t know what to do so you did nothing. Just sat on your bathroom floor and cried your eyes out, sending a text to your manager that you would not be coming in today, due to sickness...


	2. 2. Option

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Sebastian finally get to talk. You give Seb a choice which he can't think of not accepting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Seb sounds like a bit of a jerk, but I thought that he may act like a lost puppy about that so... yeah don't hate me ! <3

You have been ignoring Sebastian for two weeks now. Which meant that you were now pregnant for five weeks. You went to doctors and he has confirmed that you are indeed pregnant. You haven’t told anyone in work about your 'condition' wearing a bit more baggy clothes to make sure no one noticed. Now being on the 5th week you started to actually feel like you were pregnant. Your breasts were more sensitive than they were two weeks ago, and not to mention the 24/7 tiredness that you felt.

The only good thing was that Sebastian was away filming and could not be able to actually come and talk to you, so he just left trillions of messages. From the apologetic once, to the one where you could sense he was pissed off up to those where he felt afraid that something happened to you.

You knew you couldn’t hide from him forever, but you needed time to think of a way to tell him. According to what he wrote he should be back at the end of the next week, which gave you a bit more time.

You sighed hating yourself for the whole situation. You should have asked him to wear a condom... 

You finished the coffee and put it on the stance, ignoring the worried look from your coworker. You were understaffed so you worked on the floor instead of doing paperwork, as you mostly did in the past couple of weeks.

What terrified you was the fact that you started to feel weird when you were exposed to the smell of coffee for too long. You read enough books to know that it was too early to feel sickness and hatred towards foods and drinks you normally loved. Of course, you had to say goodbye to drinking it yourself which was already hell.

You froze when you heard a familiar voice behind you. You slowly turned around to see your friend standing in front of you, looking better than ever, in his jeans, black shirt, a NASA cap and sunglasses.

“Se...Sebastian...” you whispered terrified. A cup you were holding fell on the floor. “Oh gosh!” you gasped, kneeling down to clean that up, only to be stopped by your co-worker. She smiled at you letting you know she will take care of that. You thanked her and straighten up looking at the man that hasn’t moved an inch since he came.

“Can we talk?” he asked seriously. Despite the glasses, you could feel the anger in his eyes. Great, he was already pissed. Now he will literally hate you.

“I’m working now” you tried to pass by him, but he stopped you with his fingers on your wrist.

“Please... At least tell me what I did wrong...” you looked at him with teary eyes and shook your head. What he did wrong? Jesus... Now you made him think that he did something wrong. Great job, really.

“Y/N?” you looked behind to see your manager. You excused yourself from walked to your boss. “Is everything alright? You have been acting strange recently” you bit your lip and sighed.

“I'm sorry! I’m having some personal problems.” She frowned and looked at Sebastian who was still waiting for you.

“Why don’t you take some days off and come back when you feel better?” you widened your eyes and was about to protest when she smiled and patted you on your shoulder. “Its an order” she joked and left you alone. You sighed and went into the changing room, coming out in a baggy shirt and comfortable leggings.

“Let’s go to yours... Let’s not talk here, this smell is slowly killing me” he raised his brow but nodded. His flat seemed like a safer option. You could always just leave. It was an easier way out for you. He opened the doors to his car for you and you were driving to his flat. Silently. Something that almost never happened. You were always talking about your days. And now despite him coming back from filming no word has been spoken.

You walked to his house and stood in the middle of the living room. Trying to organise what you’d tell him. You needed to. He had a right to know. If he didn’t want it, he was the father, he still needed to know.

“Sit… here.” He gave you a beer. You swallowed and shook your head and sat on the opposite way, as far away from him as possible. His glasses were gone so was his hat. You heard him opening the bottle and taking a sip of another thing you love and can’t drink. “So? What did the hell happen? Why were you ignoring me for two damn weeks?” you flinched. Even if he was not shouting, his stern tone brought shivers down your spine. And it was not the nice kind of feeling.

There were no words that escaped your lips, so you just dived into your bag and took a test from the doctor that you always had with you. He frowned and took the paper, reading it slowly. You noticed the change of his breathing, his eyes widened and the fingers clenching both on the paper and the bottle. He was looking at the piece of paper for what seemed to be a couple of hours before he put the beer away and looked at you.

Afraid to find hatred in them, you looked away. You swallowed and started to play with the hem of the shirt.

“I don’t expect anything from you. If you want to be a part of this, I would be happy to get some help. But if you don’t I will disappear from your life and you will never see me nor the baby ever again.” Those words hurt you deep inside, but they needed to be said.

“How...” his voice low and husky. He was still looking at the piece of paper. You were ready to answer with some stupid 'pills only work in 98%’ when he attacked you with a question you never expected to hear from him. “How do I know it’s mine”.

It was the first time since you saw him today, you looked at his eyes. There was confusion, anger, lost and so many other emotions you could not name. The tears appeared in your eyes again. If you thought for just a second that there could be a slight possibility of him feeling the same way towards you, you were now sure he didn’t. What was more, it felt like you weren’t even a friend to him. Just a fuck toy, that he used to relax after a long day.

You took a piece of paper, and wrote a phone number on it and put it on the table standing up.

“This is a number to my gynaecologist. You can go to him and do parental testing if ain’t sure. Not sure when it will be ready, but he has all my tests and everything so...” you bit your lip when the tears started falling, which you hated yourself for. “I haven’t slept with anyone after I started doing it with you. But I guess my word means nothing so I will let my doctor know to give you anything you want. I will also disappear from your life if that’s what you want. I promise you the media will never find about this. But again if you don’t believe me, your agent can contact me and I will sign whatever there needs to be signed.” You stopped in front of the doors. “Oh, and don’t worry I don’t want any money.” And you left before he was able to react in any way. You caught a first possible taxi and drove home, locking the doors and just cry, as you did for the past two weeks. You were alone, and you just lost a man you love.

**

He was sitting on the couch, still looking at the paper in his hands. He could not say anything when you spoke. All the words hurt him deep down. He never wanted to ask this stupid question. He trusted you... Jesus. It was sure that if you said it, it meant it was his baby. How he hates himself for that. And now he was too scared to just stand up and go and apologise to you.

Leave? Were you really planning to just disappear? What about you living here? Your job. You were carrying a baby, you needed a job. You were carrying his baby. He got up quickly, and threw the bottle at the wall, angrily.

5 weeks. That’s what it said on the paper. He knew nothing of the pregnancy itself, but he could only imagine how hard it was for you. And not to mention how hard it will be for you in the future. And even so, you were ready to just leave for his sake.

He sat down and hid his face in hands, trying to control his breathing. A baby. A new life he would be responsible for. When he thought of becoming a father this was not what he had in mind. How he dreamt of having a big family someday, but not like that.

You were his friend. He had fun with you, but he did not love you. There was never anything romantic between you guys. You were good friends, fuck bodies, but he would never think of being with you on any other level than just sex. You were good friends, on a basic level. You spent some time together, watching movies and another shite. Sometimes when he needed to, you both had some deep, emotional talks.

This was messed up in so many levels, that he did not know what to do. Was he ready to become a father? What’s more important, did he want that baby? You did give him a way out. As much as he hated himself for even thinking about it, he knew it would be an easy way out. If anyone finds out about it, he would be done for in Hollywood.

He cursed under his breath not knowing what to do. So, he took his phone and texted two people that came into his mind. Chris and his manager. He would learn to regret to text the latter one.


	3. Jasmine tea doesn't help with everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has a supportive talk with her boss and a depressing meeting with Sebastian's agent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know Sebastian's agent name, so sorry if I made a mistake. If i did any pregnancy mistakes please tell, even though i did some background check with my sisters in law who were pregnant :)

If you had any questions whether you were really pregnant, week six answered any of them. You were, and your baby was now showing you how much it hated you. You were in a toilet of the employee bathroom, vomiting. You weren't sure what was the cause of it. The smell of the coffee which you started to actually hate, the pickles that you found in the sandwich, or the strawberry milkshake you had from McDonald's.

Oh, and the vomiting was not even the worst thing. You were constantly peeing. Like a hydrant. You spent more time in the bathroom than anywhere else and well, you had to talk to your boss to try and make it a bit more friendly. This place really was depressing. 

You sighed happily when your stomach has finally got rid of everything that you ate, and you were able to stand up. This was not going well. You haven't slept for what seems to be 72 hours and you had a doctor appointment today, which you needed to go alone to.

Being a complete loner and having no friends except some shelter dogs and Sebastian, left you lonely. Not to mention the lack of any family...

"Well, someone's pregnant", you jumped hearing your manager's voice. You looked up to see her smiling at you. You opened your mouth to say something but gave up, knowing that trying to neglect that had no point. She was a mother, after all, she out of all those people would know.

"Please don't fire me", you whispered terrified to lose a job, when you were about to have a baby.

You were looking at her with the hope in your eyes. The thought of losing this job itself was freaking you out. You were already too much in fear of being a mom and now losing a job would only add up to your anxiety.

"What are you talking about?" She chuckled and took your hands in hers. "Why would I fire you?" She kept on smiling but stopped seeing tears in your eyes. "Oh sweetheart, come on I think we need to talk." She took your arm and you followed her, to what's seemed to be her office. You liked it here. It always smelled like candles. The pictures of her family, a husband that from her own stories, loved her more than anything, and two beautiful kids. A 9 years old boy and a 5 years old girl.

You took the first frame to your hand and smiled, seeing the smiles on their faces. It made you wonder whether you would be able to give as much happiness to your child in the future.

"Did you know I got pregnant when I was 23?" You widened your eyes hearing this. "It was a year after we got married. I had a miscarriage..."

"I'm so sorry!" You whispered, feeling guilt building in you.

"I was younger than you and was as afraid of being a mom as you are, maybe even more. But it was different for me, right?" You opened your mouth, wanting to ask how she knows but decided to let her speak. "I had a husband and a family that was there to help me. I don't know you really, except for the fact you worked for me for a while now." She smiled sweetly, putting a tea in front of you. "It's a Jasmin one. It always helped me with my sickness." You smiled thankfully. "What I mean to say is. I don't know your situation. I'm not sure about the father, or your family... I don't want to push you, but if you need anything I'm here. And I mean anything. From advice, through a talk or just a shoulder to cry on." Your bottom lip quivered, and you took the sip of the tea, to make sure that you won't cry. You hummed happily when the taste went to your stomach. "You should have told me you were pregnant. You must be hating the smell of coffee now" you chuckled shyly, nodding your head. "You are already responsible for most of the paperwork here, so I don't see a difference if you would do that from home." You widened your eyes. "I will be sending you things to do through the email. If we need you in here, I will call you. Is that ok with you ?"

"Thank you so much!" You said happily. "And I'm sorry for the bother."

"Y/N sweetheart, I meant it. I know you are not a social person, but do not hesitate." She wrote down a number on the piece of paper and gave it to you. "That's my private number. If you would need anything, just call me." She leaned down and gave you a soft look. "I see this place as my second home and I want my employees to feel the same." She got up, seeing that you finished your tea. "Ok, how about you take the day off? And from tomorrow you will work from home?"

"Thank you, again!" She smiled at you as a goodbye and you left, taking a taxi home, feeling like this day doesn't have to end that bad after all.

**

Oh, how wrong were you? You stopped in front of the corridor to your little flat, seeing a woman, leaning on the wall next to your doors.

"Miss Y/L?" You were sure you have seen her before somewhere but could not place her anywhere. "I'm Shonna, Mr Stan's agent." You felt sick momentarily. You swallowed feeling like whatever good the Jasmin tea did, it was all gone.

"I see, please come in." You opened the doors and put the bag on the counter. "Please, make yourself comfortable I will be back." You left her in your living room and went to the bathroom closing the doors behind you, getting rid of the blueberry muffins you ate on your way back home. You felt tears appearing in your eyes.

He hasn't contacted you for a week, you thought... no, you hoped he decided to end all this in a normal way without his agent involved. The fact that she was here made your heartbreak into more little pieces. After all, he didn't trust you. After all, you were nothing but a fuck toy to him. What was worse was the fact that he wasn't even here.

You got up from the floor and washed your teeth quickly to get rid of the taste and the smell of puking and you left the bathroom.

"I guessed that Seba... I mean Mr Stan hates me so much he doesn't even come to discuss the 'terms'." The woman frowned. There was something that changed on her face when you walked out of the bathroom. She must have figure out what took you so long there. "Oh I'm sorry, where are my manners. Would you like something to drink?" You went to a small kitchen attached to the living room. "I have water, coke and some awful fruit, energy shakes." You chuckled nervously.

"Miss Y/L can we please talk?" She asked ignoring your drink invitation. You sighed and taking one of your shakes and water for her, you sat down opposite to her. "Mr Stan doesn't know I'm here." You widened your eyes. "He did call me to tell me what happened, but my being here is my own initiative. He sounded lost on the phone, so I decided to take the steps." You nodded, feeling a bit better with that information. "I will be honest with you. I'm not sure what is your relationship with my client, but from what I gathered, the pregnancy has been an unfortunate mistake?" You swallowed at the way she said it. You nodded. "And what I understand you do not want to get rid of it?"

"No... I'm not sure I would be able to live with myself." She nodded her head understanding.

"I have prepared some things for you to read and tell me if you are satisfied with this. Can I be honest with you, miss Y/L?" You nodded your head. "As his agent, I need to make sure that this 'accident' doesn't find its way to the media."

"You don't have to worry about that" you chimed in, smiling sadly. "I told Sebastian that this will not get into the media. Plus..." you swallowed and involuntary put a hand on your stomach. "I told him I do not expect him to do anything if he doesn't want to be a part of any of that. I don't expect anything from him, as long as he doesn't want to." You took a sip of your awful drink, happy that the woman did not stop you talking. "And I definitely do not want any pity money. If he declares that he wants nothing to do with the kid and me, I will disappear from his life and just be a memory to him. Not like I was ever anything more..." you bit your lip to stop the tears from flowing. God, you became really emotional.

She shuffles through her business bag and took some papers out.

"Sebastian will kill me for this, but as his agent, I need to do this." She gave a quick glance to the pile of papers and you quickly understood what it was.

You took a deep breath and started to read it. There was the basic information, starting from keeping quiet from the media about who the father of your baby was. If you did h, however, if you break the point it would cost you more than you would afford if you'd work for 50 years. Some points about not wanting any compensation from Sebastian, unless you both agree on it. There was even a point where you would not make any complications for him if he would want to do a parental test. Despite it being the most basic 'contract', it still hurt like hell when you signed it.

"I didn't expect it to go so easily..." she finally stated, packing the papers. "I'd think you would hate him." You chuckled sadly, playing with the corner of your shirt.

"It's hard to hate someone you love." It was the first time you noticed a surprise expression on her face. "As sad it sounds, I would do anything to make him happy. If disappearing from his life is what he wants, I'll do just that. If he wants to be a part of this child's life I will be more than happy to send him access to my calendar with all the doctor's appointment... but..." you couldn't help the tears that started flowing. "I saw the expression on his face when I told him I'm pregnant. As much as I was fooling myself through all these years, he doesn't love me, and he never will, so... yeah. I don't hate him, even though I wish I did." There was an awkward silence between the two of you and you sighed smiling in a friendly way. "Please wish him all the luck from me." The woman nodded not sure what to say else than 'good luck' and 'goodbye'.

When the doors closed you didn't stop the tears flowing. No one was here. No one would see you crying. No one would judge you. You were alone again. No... you had this baby inside of you. A baby you promised yourself to love with your whole heart.


	4. We're in it together

You both sit there quietly, with seconds and minutes passing by. The look on his face didn't make you want to force him into anything, so you just sat there.

"Chris punched me..." your eyes grew wide hearing it. Now when you looked closer, you did indeed seen a beginning of a purple to be placed on his cheek. "I'm sorry it took Evans to actually punch some sense into me, for us to have this conversation."

"Conversation?" You asked, not sure where it is heading.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you... I trust you. You are my friend. A really good friend. I haven't felt comfortable with anyone as I do with you in a very long time... I... what we had was just sex... I wasn't looking for anything serious... you ..."

"I was just your fuck toy," you said it before you were able to bite your tongue. All those things that happened and your hormones made better of you. He looked deep into your eyes petrified. The sadness in his eyes hurt you. That's how much you loved him. You felt sorry for him, despite the fact that you were here used just for sex...

"I really don't like that phrase..." he whispered his bottom lip trembling a bit. "Fuck..." he stood up, nervously bouncing from one place to the other. "You were my friend... but yes we were sex buddies..." he finally said. "I... pregnancy was just... " he took a deep breath and looked at you apologetically. "Whenever I thought of becoming a dad, I always thought it would be with a woman I..." he trailed off, feeling even worse for saying it.

"Love..." you finished for him, accepting yet another pin into your already broken heart. "I understand that Sebastian... this is why I gave you a free hand of actions... I guess you have made a decision..." you got up and wanted to walk to the kitchen but was stopped by his fingers around your wrist.

"I did not send her here... I only told her, because she needs to know. I did not expect her to just attack you with those stupid documents... for god's sake, she has never even talked to me about what I want..."

"And what do you want?" You pulled your hand away from him. "Did you really thought about it? Do you really want to be a part of this? Do you want to raise a child with a woman you don't love? With a woman, you don't care about."

"I care about you!" He raised his voice, apologising to you a second after that. "As I said you are my friend! And be a part of it? Sweetheart, I think the moment you got pregnant made me a part of it." He was looking at you with so much hope you needed to look away. "I want us to try and raise this kid as friends... I wanna be called daddy, and enjoy this fatherhood thing... I want to be a support for you through your pregnancy and our baby's life... I want to be in. 100% in..." he took a step back and smiled shyly. "Of course if you let me." He looked so vulnerable. You knew it would be safer, better for you to say no. To tell him that you want more than just be friends. You wanted him to love you. But you couldn't make it happen. You cannot force anyone to love you. Plus you couldn't be selfish. You had a baby coming, and it needed a father, and as much as you hated to admit it, he would be a fantastic one. Seeing him every day, knowing that he would never love you, will probably make you hurt even more than just leaving, but the baby needed. And Sebastian had a right to be part of this.

"Of course! This is your baby as well Sebastian. If you want to be a part of it, then this is great, but please..." You looked up into these beautiful eyes you fell in love with. "If you decide to be a part of it, please... don't leave me halfway through?" He frowned and slowly sat closer, awkwardly pulling you into a hug.

"I won't! I will be here for you and the baby!" You sobbed into his dress shirt, not caring to leave wet marks. He just held you there, as you wished to be held since you found out about the pregnancy. He was here for you... no not for you. He was here for this unborn child. You decided not to get too attached. You will keep a distance. Keep a friendly relationship but anything more than that needed to off-limit. For your own good. "You said you have a doctor's appointment. Eat something before. I got your salad. A Cesar one with sweet corn and extra sauce. I knew it was yours when I noticed a guy in the building." You blushed hearing it. So he at least remembered your favourite salad. Maybe you were not just a fuck toy. "When you're done, we'll go to the doctor, ok? I'll drive you."

**

You were sitting on the doctor chair opposite the desk. It was your first pregnancy appointment. The first one was just to make sure you actually were pregnant, now you prepared yourself for all the tests. You glanced at Seb, who had his NASA hat on and was looking around the cabinet. He looked relaxed, almost as a big weight was taken off his shoulders, after the conversation you had.

"How was the salad?" You told him how you were not able to keep any food in you today. He seemed worried about it, checking up on you whenever you felt a bit worse.

"It stayed in. Hope for longer", you tried to joke, making him smile a bit. "Thankfully I can still eat garlic... Well, I won't really be able to kiss anyone for too long with the extra sauce, but..."

"I never minded kissing you after your damn Cesar salad", He joked, winking at you. There he was. This flirtatious grin, the thing you tried to ran away from. So you bit your lip and looked down, which did not go unnoticed by him. However, he decided to just let it be. Maybe he read too much into it.

"Y/N! Apologies for waiting! I had a delivery" your doctor, Mrs Adams walked into the room with a bride smile on her lips. "Oh, a little handsome, healthy boy out there." You smiled at her energetical way of talking. "Oh, and who is that cookie?" She asked looking at Sebastian who blushed a bit and chuckled. Mrs Adams was 40 years old cheeky a bit sarcastic ray of sunshine.

"Am... I'm Sebastian... I'm..."

"He's a friend. Moral support." You answered, saving the man some awkwardness. The doctor noticed the look exchange between you two but said nothing.

"Ok sweetheart. Thankfully I have your card already so need for boring questions." The doctor started looking down into your card. "All the tests went positive for now sweet pie, so nothing to worry about. I'll give you some folic acid. 0.4 mg should be enough, with some extra vegetables that you should eat, will be enough for you." Her gaze shifted from you to the man. "Make sure, Mr Cookie that your friend eats a lot of vegetables. I have prepared a list of the food that will be best for her." He nodded and swallowed hard, accepting the list. "Ok, sweetie tell me how are you feeling?"

"Well I think the kid hates me already", you chuckled, putting a hand on your stomach. "I pee like a hydrant, I'm always tired. Like always. I can have an amazing nap and still wake up tired. I puke almost anything that I eat. And..." you looked at Sebastian shyly and bit your lip. "My breasts start to hurt and get a bit... tender" you didn't know why you were shy about it. You have slept with the guy, sucked his dick more than ones and still felt shy about your breasts.

"Ok, peeing and sleepiness is a normal occurrence. Sleep and rest as much as you can. When it comes to puking, how many times a day?"

"Am... four, maybe five" you answered playing with the rack of your shirt.

"Ok, I will give you some meds for that. You need to eat for both of you now so puking is a big no-no. I will add that to the diet I prepared for you." She did as she said and put the paper back to the file that was still sitting at the little table. "When it comes to your breasts. Sweetheart, it's normal. They are growing so it's normal that they are being tender. You know", she smirked and looked between the two of you. "Some gentle massages are good for you as well." You widened your eyes and looked away, not noticing a little blush on Seb's cheeks and a smirk on his lips. "But yeah. Get ready to slowly thinking about buying new bras, and new clothes. You're still at the beginning but you may start to think about it." She wrote something down and gave the files. "Here is every information you may need to know, the diet, list of things you can and must not eat, and here", she pointed at the bottom of the page. "This is my private number, if you need anything, please call me. If you have any issues and cant call the office number, don't hesitate even if it's in the middle of the night." She walked to you and held your hand. "Its gonna be scary sweet pie but it's also going to be a beautiful experience." She smiled at Stan. "For the two of you." She winked and got up. "Ok, now I would like to check if everything is alright down there." Sebastian got up quickly and took a step back almost as it scared him. You raised a brow at him and couldn't help but giggle.

"You can leave if that makes you uncomfortable", you assured, but he only swallowed and held your hand.

"No I promised you to support you and the baby. " he smiled softly and it made your heart skip a beat. This man was perfect, which made your pain even bigger. Because this amazing man would never be yours. The doctor smiled at the both of you and proceeded.

**

"A moral support?" He asked when you were driving to your flat.

"I... I signed the contract in which I promised that your privacy would be kept a secret..." he widened his eyes but never left the road. "I'm sorry. I never thought that going to public places, especially to the gynaecologists can bring you some issues." You looked through your window, playing with the bottom of the shirt.

"Stop this", he said quietly. "We are in this together. I want to be a part of it. And the public? Well, fuck them. This is my baby in there. And that's what matters to me." You blushed and nodded your head. You understood but still felt bad. You promised yourself to make sure that his career would not be affected by this. "Come on, let's go for some shopping. Your doctor made quite a big list."


End file.
